By writing a blog, I’m putting my life out there – for anyone to see and make opinions on. 99% of the feedback and communication I receive from this blog is wonderful – encouragement and tips from other parents, I meet other mommies and daddies going through similar things so we are able to vent and chat about the hardships and silly things that comes with being a parent, and our family and friends across the globe are able to keep in touch with us and see Avery grow! But then that other 1% is not as nice.
I recently got some heat about my blog. I was criticized about taking time from my day to write on my blog, as if I shouldn’t be taking this time away from all the other things I’m supposed to be doing. If you read my post about a typical day recently, you’d see that I accomplish A LOT during a single day. I practically never stop moving because I have to keep productive so everything gets done that needs to or else I’ll be up until midnight getting it done. To get from one day to the next, bags need to be packed for the next day, dinner needs to be cooked, Avery needs to be cared for, we need to work, bottles and dishes need to be washed, laundry cleaned because Avery’s out of bibs, etc. There’s a list of about 30 tasks that need to be completed in a day. That doesn’t include anything for myself. If I just did those tasks, and didn’t take any time to myself, I’d go insane! (especially since I hardly get any sleep at night)
So, I make time in my day for ‘ME TIME.’ There are three times during a typical weekday that I do things for myself.
I blog. During my lunch break at work, a mere 30 minutes, while I’m eating, I write my blog. Sometimes I have time leftover to read other blogs that I like following about cooking, home renovation, or parenting. I do this for me because it helps me relax on my break and work on the blog without taking time away from Avery.
I watch TV. Every night after Avery goes down to bed, we plop down in front of the TV with dinner, and zone out for 45 minutes and watch a DVR’d show. In our queue right now is Grey’s Anatomy, The Voice, and Survivor. I really enjoy this because I can actually sit for an extended period of time, put my feet up and just zone out of my hectic day for a little bit. It’s a nice way to unwind at the end of the day. Plus, when we’re done dinner, it’s nice to cuddle up with Vinay and talk about the show, and just enjoy each others company after we’ve been running around doing what needs to get done.
(Fun trivia: That’s Jackson Avery from Grey’s Anatomy. Name sound familiar?)
I read. When I finally crawl into bed around 9/930PM every night, I read for a little bit. I’ve been in college, then grad school for years and had plenty of required reading, but now that’s all behind me and I can finally read books I want to read. So, I alternate, between a recreational read (right now it’s Mockingjay, the third book in the Hunger Games) and a baby book (right now it’s Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child). Vinay likes watching a little more TV at night, so I curl up in bed and read while he watches the shows he likes.
In addition to these daily breaks I take for myself, maybe once a month, I have a Girls night/day out… maybe it’s shopping or just dinner where Vinay or a family member watch Avery for a couple hours. Because although I love Avery dearly, it’s very hard to eat a meal with him in my lap at a restaurant and shopping is very difficult with a stroller and a child that needs to be constantly moving.
With our crazy schedule, everything has to be balanced. Work, household tasks, Avery, sleep, etc. And I feel like I do a better job at all those tasks when I feel better about myself… whether I feel better because I read a good chapter in my book that made me laugh, or because I took an extra 10 minutes to look nice today (I did that this morning… skirt, panythose, cardigan, pearls, darn I look and feel good!). I need that ‘me time’ to stay sane and make it to the next day. If someone wants to criticize me about it, then that is their opinion. But I’m sure whoever they are, they aren’t working full-time, taking care of a home and a baby, and sleeping 5-6 hours a night. If they lived a day in my shoes, I’m sure their opinion would change.
What do you do for your ‘me time’? Do you find ways to incorporate ‘me time’ with your child? I don’t want to lose time with Avery and go to the gym, so we ‘work out’ together by taking jogs or walks in the stroller. He gets fresh air and loves looking around while I get my exercise!
Wow Meghan, this is a great post and from the heart. I’m really offended that someone would criticize you for taking time for your blog. I’m really sorry. I’m fairly new to blogging and questioned whether I should even do it… but really it’s something you cannot describe to someone who doesn’t do it. It’s fun, it’s creative, it’s a way to be social and meet new people, it’s a dairy of your life when time slips by so fast and then you look back at your blog and you’re reminded of how much you’ve accomplished, how far you’ve come, how much you’ve learned, loved, and laughed…. and it’s REWARDING! I do not have children and that was a choice but I have the utmost respect for people who do. I taught preschoolers for over 10 years and as much fun as I had… I gave them up at the end of the day. Parenting is a full-time job on top of your full-time job. WHEWWW, I’m exhausted just thinking about your day. NEVER feel bad about taking time for yourself whatever if it… reading, blogging, a bubble bath…whatever. If you don’t do the things you love and be kind to yourself you cannot give the best of you to your family and friends. I enjoy your blog and know first hand how much fun it is and yes, you put yourself out there (so brave) but some people should just remember… if you don’t have anything nice to say… don’t say anything at all. So there! And I wonder what the people who criticize are doing with their time? hummmm? Keep at it, never feel bad, and don’t let that 1% make you feel bad. Think about the 99% who enjoy your posts and can totally relate to your everyday ups and downs. (sorry for writing a book… I just don’t understand people sometimes.)
-Stacey
Thanks so much Stacey. I try to take everything with a grain of salt, but this just really offended me. I had to vent. And I was raised with those same words from my mother “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”. So, I don’t feel bad or guilty one bit… I think I’m doing a pretty good job balancing everything. Yeah, sometimes I blow up, or break down… but nobody’s perfect. I try my best, that’s all I can really do, right?
Try you best? Girl, you’re rockin’ it as far as I’m concerned.
haha thanks. I should put your number on speed dial when I need a pep talk!
anytime! Oh, I want to send you a picture. (just for fun) is it okay to just send it to the email address on your “about” page?
sure!
It’s funny that people can criticize you with what you do with their time, but then what are they doing online reading blogs anyway? They are obviously not utilizing their time either. YOU get a lot done during the day. Blogging is something that you enjoy doing on your spare time. You know, “spare” being the time you get to do whatever you want to do!!!! There are days when I can’t blog and I’m all, “ugh. I wish I could blog!” But you know what, I prioritize, as I am sure you do as well. I used to feel guilty running and training because a long run could take me up to 4+ hours and that’s time I could spend with LIli. But I shouldn’t feel guilty. It’s the one thing that I love to do and I shouldn’t give it up. It’s something I had to (and still do) convince myself — that it’s OKAY!!!
But like you, the things I do are workout (90% w/ Lili — 10% just once a week w/out her), blog, read, BAKE!!!! I wish I could do all of this all the time, but yeah, also, in my spare time, I love to just play w/ Lili all day long. LOL
Great post and don’t let anyone bring you down!!! Your posts are awesome and we love seeing you and your family.
Awe, thanks. It’s good to hear other mommies make time for the things they love too. Prioritizing and balancing everything is tough work, but squeezing in the ‘me time’ is on the list. We get everything done, and still have time to play with the kiddos (my favorite past-time too!).
Eh. People could say the same thing about me. But it is one of those me-time things. And good job with walking with the stroller- that’s what I do too!!!
Thanks, Stephanie! Have you tried jogging with it yet? I’m working up to it…
Haha well….I’m thinking maybe over summer break when I’m home more, I might get there.
Baby steps. lol
People that criticize have nothing else better to do than judge other people! they are usually lonely and have control issues. I say, TO HELL WITH THEM! If they don’t like reading your blog, then they shouldn’t read it in the first place! People are so ridiculous sometimes. This is similar to my post on “instead”. I got fired up from something someone at work said to me. Anyways….you are doing a great job and having some Me Time is completely understandable and frankly, a must! My me time usually involves taking a class at the gym, going to lunch with a friend or reading after M goes to sleep. Oh, I also walk sometimes with her and she loves it too!
I’m a big proponent or Me-Time. My wife could not understand it at first. She thought I did not want to spent time with her. NOT TRUE.
Luckily her sister brought up me-time as something she likes and now my wife is all for it.
Thanks, Chris. I think people are too quick to judge. If they were in our shoes, they would really understand. I’m glad your wife understands
I think Me Time is one of the most important things we can do, as moms, for ourselves AND our children. Those moments of down time are what give us the energy and emotional readiness to give our children and jobs our all. It’s when you don’t take that time that things start to slide, in my experience. And as a fellow blogger, I clearly feel pretty strongly that blogging is a good use of time. For me, it’s been a great way to process my thoughts and emotions, through good and bad times. I don’t know the back story so I won’t jump to conclusions about the person who criticized you, except to say I think that person was mistaken. If blogging helps you to re-charge your batteries, then it will certainly help you be at your best for Avery, and that seems awfully important to me. Keep it up!!
Thanks, Lindsay. Blogging is a great outlet for getting my thoughts out and escaping for all the things that NEED to get done every day. There are some days that I’m super-exhausted, tired from lack of sleep and being on the go so much. I really need down time to ‘recharge my batteries’ as you say to be in the best ‘shape’ to take care of Avery and everything else. Some days I feel guilty I don’t get much time with Avery during the week, but I make up for it on the weekends and know that when I’m taking time for myself, it’s not just for me, it’s for Avery’s benefit too
thats the problem with blogs eh? The more people that follow you the more chance for nasty comments. Wouldn’t it be nice if all those lovely comments made as big of an impact as one nasty one? Like you said 99% of the time its great, so just remember that. And don’t let the man get you down
I fear this myself for the future of our little family blog. Just gotta learn to roll with the punches I guess, or think ridiculous comments are just that… ridiculous. I love your blog and know just like all parents out there you are doing the best you can for your little guy. And from what I have seen/heard so far he is doing just GREAT, a true testament to your parenting! You will know inside if blogging is too time consuming and you need to step away but until then its great to be able to connect with you from far away! 
I don’t think I have enough readers at this point to get any nasty comments!
I agree with you though- “me time” is super important! And your me time resembles mine, right down to your reading choices! I finished Mockingjay a while back and have been meaning to pick up that sleep book for ages!
I also read your post about your daily schedule and it was scary how much it sounded like mine…only yours starts about an hour before mine!
haha… that’s one thing I LOVE about the blogging world – I get to meet others out there that I can relate with, vent with, swap stories and tips. Isn’t it nice to know you’re not alone?! Our days are long, and that me time is really needed to keep us sane, right!? What book are you on now? I have some suggestions from other bloggers for what I should read next. I ALMOST finished Mockingjay last night but had to put it down 20 pages from the end because I needed to get to sleep!
Wow! I totally admire you for everything you get done and forget about that 1%, they don’t count! Right now I’m still trying to find a balance for me time, haven’t got that much yet! And I know it’s going to get worse before it gets better when I get back to work! But that said, we’ll take it one day at a time..
Hi Tola. Once you get back to work and a routine develops, you’ll find those ‘cracks’ in your schedule that you can squeeze in some ‘me time’. Plus it’ll get easier as your little one gets older… they occupy themselves alone a lot longer, so multi-tasking becomes easier – cooking dinner, while folding laundry, while Avery is roaming around in his walker is a common scene at our house. Then, everything that ‘needs’ to get done, will get done faster, leaving you more ‘me time’
Hi Meghan, don’t ever get discouraged from what others say. Do what is good for your soul and spirit… we all have the freedom to choose what we want to do with our time. Keep writing!! Take care!
Thanks, I appreciate the encouragement
I don’t know how I missed this entry in the first place, but I, too, am surprised that anyone would criticize you for how you spend your time. This is coming from a mother of 2 kids…yes, those kids do become our number one priority and for the most parts they become the center of our universe, however, that does not mean you have to be around them or doing something with them every second of the day.
But I also understand the guilt involved as well. I always felt guilty when I wasn’t with my kids (in the same house, not sitting right next to them, that would be stupid). But recently, I took up a new hobby and go out once a month for craft night with my friends and the occasional sewing class. I have to tell you, it has made me a better a person/mom. Everyone needs a way to unwind and do something non-momish. Like you said, balance is the key word. Otherwise you will burn out before Avery turns 1!
So I say, who cares if it takes you a measly 30 minutes at your lunchbreak or an hour a day at the end of the day, as long as Avery is well taken care of and is healthy, then you deserve to take that break for yourself! Kids needs to learn to entertain and play by themselves. They do not need their parents to provide the entertainment all the time. That makes them become a better more well-adjusted child/adult.
I know you didn’t need the confirmation of your Me Time. But I just wanted to post it so that the crazy 1% who thinks they know the best way for you to spend your time is can read how insane their comments really comes off as.
Thanks, Mychelle. I think all parents, especially ones with multiple kiddos and working parents really understand the crazyness of just getting the essential stuff done – then add in house work, cooking, etc. and where do we have a chance to breath? We’d go insane if we didn’t take that time for ourselves. For us to be better parents, and improve on a personal level, we need that time for sure. P.S. Love seeing your sewing projects!